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Fun vulgar history. Merry history of life

1. Rozpoviv (a) Documents

Once the artist Boris Ufimov was seen by friends. No telephones, no more apartments yet. Enter. Vin udoma. Lie on the couch, read. Having got rid of friends, having buried, having become a staple of a komir, conceived.
A friend took a book from the sofa and said:
- Just think, just read "Anna Karenina".
Boris Yukhimovich immediately played the scene: he plugged the head with his hands and shouted:
- Just don't tell me, be a weasel, what a scinchilia!

2. Rozpov (a) Anatoly

It was a long time ago, for hours of my student's youth. Having looked after one young girl, I should look after everything, take a walk - smack it, take me to the house. I pivot the first axis (I get to the left tram), siv at the lift, that stuck in the new one. Well, there is a sphatku there on the wiklik of the dispatcher, pushing, with a fist, becoming a knock on the door, with a quiet foot. Well, vilizla yakas a woman, shouting at me, shou moving galas at night, ale the lifter viklikala. Zagalom, after 3 years, they fiddled me out. And divatisya me nikudi, having phoned my dvchiny. Vidkriva її mathus:
- Oh-oh, well, let's go, let us put you on the couch on the sofa ...
And over the shoulders of Matus, my pretty little sight, in one shirt, and exposing her to be cunning. Well, they did it, passed 10 khvili, then get out and show up, hurry up to me in lizko:
- It's great to think of a lift ...

3. Rozpoviv (a) Zina

This is a miraculous picture on the zupintsi.
It was not for some reason that the grandmother flew into the little girl-child, yak did not react to the old woman being worn out. The grandmother squealed, that taku, yak that dіvchina, under Stalin they were shot.
And here the little boy will feed in mami: - and who is this Stalin?
Mom: - And the tse buv leader in Russia is so, all razstrіluvav.
Xing: - Why didn't Todi Tsiu grandmother shoot?

4. Rozpoviv (a) Zina

Once, a mow came to our enterprise. They pardoned me, cleansed them all, began to grow old. Years later, the vitoncena of Murka was grown with greenery of the ochim and unrivaled rosefarbuvannyas.
The first axis was sent to our trade union committee by requesting a suspension of lovers of kishok for entertainment. The assembly hall is open to the public: the guests didn’t only go out to tell about the kitten, but they brought with them the native Persians, Angora, Sphynx and other representatives of the kitten breeds. The head of the partnership was sent to the lectures and the main additional conditions for supplying power to the hall:
- Will you be powered?
Our Maryvanna, trimming on the pillars of Murku, energized:
- And why couldn't we see our breed?
- And you come here.
Maryvanna entered the stage with a kitty, and all people of Persians, Angori, Sphinxes and іnshі zbljakli in the case of our Murko.
- Yours, zychano, bezporodno, - having said the head. I know: - I am not yet so beautiful.

5. Rozpoviv (a) Andriy

For three days, I stopped being angry at the surroundings, at the graces of people, from my point of view, wrong. Zagalі on everything near, to that as zzumіv and accepting one even more important postulate: "Everything, not to be afraid, everything is beautiful." Do not believe, wonder:
1). Forgetting to stick with a belt in a car,

Inspector DIBDR, rod-zupinka. Annoyance and malice, Skoda 1, 5 thousand fine to pay. At a hundred meters in front, de I mav prozhdzhati stretching for 3 - 5 seconds, on the opposite side of the road "Gazelle" and threw. For an hour, won my bullet.
2). Having caught the riba, the "sidushka" is broken down from the shore into the river on the stoppers. Stand on the birch no more, near a lot of vipers. Not without a fall, and from the nose, eyepieces were lifted into the water, like two months from the people, the price was 8 yew. Rub. I confess, vigolovy mateyukov. Ribolovlya ended, t. K. Without eyepieces is unrealistic. The next day, I arrived with a mask and a suit for a podvodka (the snake did NOT bite). Eyepieces know, і plus: a jar of flares, moreover, expensive; spіnіng "Shimano" with a cat - a set of yew. at 15 tons; metal cage. Everything is fresh, without corrosion, I am crusted for the whole.
3). Take a trip to the capital, taking a ticket in advance. A year before the visit, you will be able to take a shower. Not viyshlo - dumb drive (for the first time in ten). A shame. Viklikav Taxi. Їdemo. The streets are angry with hail. There is a wheel on the wheel. Gn_v. I don’t have a car, I don’t get it, as a result I’ve lost it. I came to the dodom - they gave me water, as long as I didn’t. Flowers for the soul, not much, ale to pour out the bath (not far away having hung the handle of the shower). Until the bottom of the apartment floated b, and the float was about six thousand to three hundred.
4). Base vidpochinku. Two old men of one sit in the chapel and check, if I sit down (after going for the flasks). It is dark, the scarlet axis-axis is more light. I stretch my hands to the chavna, having missed and downward. Zder shkіru, klaptem, on boats. Naturally, I will be on the base. Drugan was poured. Anchored in the fairways. After twenty khviliin in the їхній choven of the boats. "Shvidka", traumatology. Passed 3 rocky s tikh pir, one s Druganov specifically kulgak. Zbirak pennies, go to the cool house in Nimechchin.
On tsyomu zupinyusya, I want to remember the next two dozen of this kind of vipadkiv є. Infected I am happy, I am not barking, I am not angry, I know for sure that everything that will power Heaven is for the good. And if I want success, I laugh - I don’t even know anything about us, but also Good luck. Whether it is with the face of the pirsu, then the chi are crumbled by the zrubati. Let us show you an hour later.

6. Rozpov (a) Prishvin

Kitty MINUTE:
- She, sir, will you write off?
- And I do not sleep!
- Would you like to sleep again?
- Oh, you can’t write it off?
- Well, if you can't write off one thing, wait a minute for me.
- Give me a favor, I show!
- Give me a favor!
- You may want to receive it.
- Ale a little bit of me.
- Pidemo,

I will show...
- Axis, that's my bowl.
- Hi, I will not come back.
- You can light the bowl.
- Give Ale a little spat.
- Would you like to chat with your friends?
- Garazd, ale leave my bowl for me - give me a favor.
- Give, I think, give!
- Ale, ti mee chuєsh?
- Chuєsh, right?
- You can tidy the tray.
- Already tidied up?
- Well, let’s go down again, otherwise it’s clean.
- Everything, I go, you can take it again.
- Ale sphatku - happy.
- Let's!
- Axis Dyakuyu!
- And what, no one is dumb?
- Hi, I won't.
- Make some noise.
- Lord, for scho ?!
- I’m not gutting anything!
- Well, you are a two-legged beast!
- Hrіn ty at me now posnіdaєsh!
- Go, clean up, I gave a shit.
- Now let's scratch me.
- Now - iron.
- Now belly.
- Ні, do not help, require a favor.
- Pidemo, the weather is less.
- Put it in a bowl.
- And, are you already poklav?
- So, the axis is still tasty.
- And still give?
- Come on.
- Well?
- Hi, I won't ...
- Okay, I sleep ...

7. Rozpov (a) Anatoly

Daughter to come from the garden:
- Mom, but Marini wasn’t this year.
- Oh, I know, melodiously, the little girl is sick ...
- Hi-i! Vaughn all the ailments, whole.

8. Rozpoviv (a) Dima

vit: Naked on this site. "To see a car, a jeep, for nothing. The coordinates of the JPS are so-so. The exact arrangement is to erase the antenna from the swamp. Umova only one thing - it’s okay to see it :)

Zrozumіlo tіlki rosіyskim

Lizhniki race for 30 km in Sapporo-thousand nine hundred seventy two. History, yak there, in Japan,
so far, the feast is transmitted in legends. Aje todi not bulo any changes
zones and press conferences, and magazines quietly wandered among the athletes right in the starting place. I rapt, if half of the riders had already flowed in, knocking down the snig. Thick, sticky. I V'yacheslav Vedenin for khviliina before his start took over his lick. The first music journalist, how Volodya Russian, turning to new: moving, do you think, more help - to blame?
I’m coming to Vedenin, rozumієmo tilki mi, in Russia. And in Japan on
On the coming day, the newspapers went out with the headlines:
"Dakhusim", the Russian lizhnik played against the Olympiad ".

crossbars

One famous business man for fun climbed into the evening of entertainment
odnoklassnik_v nap_vbomzhі ... Without a look, it is very special, but a specific kind.
Until new niv and with nourishment for the life of nichto bailing without becoming, women
Ignored, and the men lishe cheerfully poured it, and he yak won
the share of the daredevil with the witness was overdone ...

Ale sprazhny cultural shock lads vidchuli, if in the evening for
Napivbomzhi have arrived in Bentley ... and the officials have spent a hundred bucks for tea win
energized: "To whom in the direction of the airport? I can pidkinuti".

lift

Anyone who got stuck in a lift for two years with two unaware cadets, who drank beer a lot before the cadet?
Standing in a scorching grassy evening, and with a friend, unsupported by a couple, two of them hovered between them and shoved on top. The chat was bustling, we got to know each other and cheerfully helped the lads to shout for some time. Ale the cadets walked as if they were not happy and as if they were already near the river. First, the stench vibrated in rapid succession and brought up about the beer problem.
Mi tyamuschі dіvchata: came back and went to firkati in kuti
elevator cabins. Judging from the valley to us sounds, the technology of the bullet is super-simple. On a pidlog, it is not possible (to get stuck), one cadet pulls a cable through a tight door, and the other has a meal. So after eating the axle, the stench was remembered by the roles. Another way, after some time to drink, ale at the comrade's fingers twitched, and he opened the doors ...
Do you know if there’s some chuli, like a travna evening in lifts, to shout a cadet? And yak vin with a great striba, yak it’s scary to hit the lift, yakn’t words are spoken at the same time ...
Zagalom, as long as the doors were opened, my friend and I saw a smile on the podlog, and the trochs themselves did not break the pi-pi ... ...

“256”

I'm standing in the tram. Winter. All in the upper garment. Wrapped up. I am amazed in front of me like a hmir with a backpack. On the backpack, literally on the snot tel_payuchis, hang a flash drive, and on n_y is written - "256". Vaughn herself literally beckon, beckon, take it. My zupinka has gone. I quit a flash drive without special zusil zirvav and viyshov. Priyshov dodoma, I insert it into the computer, wonder how it is there on it - and I will have to fly the whole system, right up to the formatting of the hard disk and not just flashing the BIOS ...
Now I took a miraculous flash drive, painted it on "257", fastened it to my backpack - so, you can easily pick it up - and if I go along with it in transport, check it out, if there’s one more stole me ... "

Zapiznila at the lecture

One time I was in for a lecture on the stock market. So if I burst into the doorway, teaching everyone else by reading a lecture:
- ... and the Russian stinks are small, short, a little more active ...

Beating me, zupinivsya. Mabut on my face the bully is easy to decay, to that, having broken the sign with his hand "pass" and continuing the lecture:
- For quiet, hto zapiznivya - I guess. We were talking here about trading in futures contracts on the Russian markets, but not about those who are in the right place.

Chi doesn't want to clean up!

The airline of United Air didn’t know a little about one cheerful steward, who didn’t know anything clever when he landed and fed the ladder, but they didn’t know about the buzzing sound:
- .... hto stay - tidy up the litak!
Chim wiklikav to the panic of the middle of passengers.

All learn in poro

For the third year we have a subject - Budova speech. Hіmіkam wіn needs, like a cow's eggs, to that they were set to finish it cool. Big things still went into the building for a freebie, but the deyakim especially didn’t be happy. For example, there were two comrades, one of them gave them seven times, and the other - 11 (eleven). If the stench was given this time, the session was already gone, and the sacred rite was found in the lab of the teacher.

The first buv of feedings is to finish shvidko, viyshov into the corridor and becoming a check-in partner. Raptovo wikladach go from the room, respect the bidolakha and even:
- Are you here? Perfectly! Let's fill in! - set the hall and explain:
- Rozumієte, there your friend is also carrying, that V in the relationship with him is just Lomonosov!

cute їzhachok

Christmas people talking about robots talking about all kinds of funny ideas about creatures) І axis our accountant tells about the beloved cat of his daughter. Well, her daughter has grown up, she’s gotten older and is alive and well) I, as friends, gave a nice little girl, a cute little guy, ale, I’m pushing you on the belly, he’s starting a regotati)) And, well, a healthy cat, you’re in the street and in the gaze of life, I did not smell it unsuccessfully, I fired up to it by the very least sentiments))) Moreover, with the need to show them, they want to taste more, and I’m better off). in public, I have a visitor with him. And Yizhak with tsyom homeric speech. When I see people, I can see a picture, I think I can see it. I didn’t know how to go, and all day I’m absolutely obscene laughing.

Privitannya

During the hours of my punk youth, I am a "bilyaviy lad of seventeen rochkiv". Well, to be exact, just navit Chernokur, hair below the shoulders and clothes of jeans, that T-shirt is a new unisex. A razor jerked in the face of the ice. The first axis has been turned around since the day of the nation.
Well, how can you play punk from the day of the nation? Essssno, non-abiyak "pidshofe". In the ice, we were busy with summer days, a miracle appeared on me and showed its genital. On scho I, anіtrohi not zivuvavshis, the flywheels showing their own. Ymovіrno, my junior and intoxicated with alcohol brain, thinking, what a priceless way to do this and just fit into my informal life position
Zbochenets fired up and puffed up with a screeching wiguk .. And I learned about the loss of the wound.

zvintar

Hear the history. I'm really scary once. Well, don't be afraid -
hear. And if anyone has nerves to the devil, then, like it is written vishche, more beautiful
leave the site immediately.
From Yaganovo to Leontyev there are three kilometers of fields, paths.
You can take a bus straight to the city, Ale Sanya love the axis of the road,
electric, and then walk.
He sings to Tom.
As if, if the axis is so, do not keep up, on the field, oh my god
the top of the virshika in a whisper.
What about? Tsіlkom. Here you go - a couple of verses. Zvorotno - half the battle. so for
Let’s know, sit, smoke.
And mіstia malovnichі, grace. Lake povz. Poten yar, mistok.
On the right is tsvintar silskiy, livoruch, trokhi gave, - the church is old,
rounded. To the church zanedbanu qiu Sanya, yak lyudin virucha, i
zagalі to the Lord of closeness, to love to go on the way. stand up
high crypts, to look at the surplus of drawings, think about everything.
Have a smoke.
Well the axis. And then he went to the sickle, the rest of the electric.
Until the end of the day, I didn’t get it, I couldn’t last month, well, I didn’t think about the day
strongly prompted.
At Yaganovo’s ziyyshov, an hour before wine, dark unasked, I want an eye.
Zishchulivsya, but pishov, kudi dineshya. The road is well-trodden, it is possible and on the dot.
Tim will turn more and more all one dumb power.
Garazd, go quietly, listen. Well, in sense, god's raptom
I haven’t yet been, and right now, I’m not bothering for the last hour or so more.
dictuvati. Getting ready, that means stenographer.
And God, take away all of you, and how to do evil, - plank!
She's not just planks, but angry!
That th is not just angry, but a thunderstorm! Stay serpneva thunderstorm.
Inappropriate. Bliskavki lit up, the boards were cold, and I started to squelch under my feet.
“Nichogo,” Sanya thinks, “I’ll get to the church, spiraling, checking
ice ice ". The backpack has a thermos with hot tea,
the gift of the gentlemen, izha taka-syaka, so it is possible and nothing to stand, that day,
yaksho treba, protrimatisya. The first move is complete, the call is complete
DO NOT get wet. And the axis of the same fence of the tsvintar in the sleeping quarters of the bliskavok
become. Axis і yar, axis і mistok, and here і to the church by the hand of tribute.
І here raptom - once! Bida! Sanya zakvapivsya on a place, and a place - well
for a mistok, two decks. Slimy, dark. І already on the other side
lick your lips, and straight into the yar - shlyop! No, not like that. And the axis is like that.
SHLOOPPP! Plazom. I z'yhav down the schilah. Shil - mriya pichnik, clay
Sutsilna.
Well, vibrating koy-yak, wind not for the first time, in clay all from nig to
heads. Viliz, come on to God for the annoyance of matyukatisya. For scho moving, replace
virshika take viprobuvannya? God from the top youmu bliskavkoyu huyak for
blasphemy, і plank dodav. Sanya hands to feet, “God forgive me,
save and save ”, and to the church, to the crypt.
Vbіg to the church, then, clay from the muzzle with the sleeve of a witer, viddikhavsya. I rapt
wonder - wow! The distant pribudovi has light !!! Wrong such, yak from
bagatta. Sani became anxious, listening. Light in color, according to the walls
tіnі, і voices! Agaaaaa!
Sanya is a lad, as not fearful, nor a boon, a backpack in his hands, having taken over, and a little quietly pishov. Yaka b, think
more beautiful, lower back before boards. Walk quietly, and bach - burn
a cauldron to hang over a porch, sit bilya bagatta on boxes
chotiri peasant, kind to finish off the zvychay, homeless. On shuhlyadtsі mіzh
them koshtu sv_chka, koi yak appetizer is laid out. Spade shine at the cuff
welcome with sharp blades.
Looked at Sanya. Homeless, who are not homeless, but it is clear that people are busy digging graves in the storerooms. We have improved the day, we welcomed it. Well, well, there are people who are extraordinary, as if the correct mother's attitude, everything is more beautiful, there is no unclean force. And even in the same viglyad, Sanya himself at that moment was a bum, so homeless in his relationship with him and vzagal purely the prince of the prince-Alisei.
І Sanya is virіshiv show yourself a suspension. Tim bolshe mayuchi with sobi vagomiy
an argument for the knowledge in the person of the litter dance of the burner.
I axis to enter Sanya into a colo of lights, to rob kindly, exposing a thick crust
a ball of clay, and, as a matter of fact, we can easily catch it on the third voice.
- I see you, garni people! Let your bagatty take a beating, and
it's so cold there, no strength!
The peasants turned to the voice, and instead of replacing the graft with a rapt, they suddenly died, and they changed a lot in the individuals! Marvel at Sanya, in the eyes of an overlap,
hairs on their heads, those who have bully got into trouble, one got out of the box
on the sly on the ground, having poured together, none of the mouth can not see it.
Sanya vidchuvaє - they are not the same. It is required to add for the distribution
tension. Like.
- Don't beat me, guys, I'm mine! - and a simpleton ahead of yourself
dance of the burner. - I will sit three times only, until the first pivnіv from the force, і
to home. And then the boards are there, і siro, brrrrr!
І here is one of the men, then the oldest, then the best, jealously
osіnyayuchi to bad banners, then to ourselves, then to Sanya,
wheeze in a grave voice:
- TI NAVISCHO W TCE, bastard, saw ???

Good fries are practical to love the skin of a man. Especially to delight people short history, Funny and funny, real life... Such vipads will become a wonderful roving for any company. Short stories, smіshni, original, fun - all the same, which is required for a pleasant hour. Є the stench of a ridiculous joke. However, the difference in being taken from real life is to sound the stench of a trick. Above the tsim comic, lusciously twisted plots, you can go back and forth without a zupinka.

Short history. Smashnі vices from life

Also, if you have chosen to meet in the number of friends, be in love, such is the start of every fit to the soul. Short histories, smithe vistas are great for people who feel good about their mood. And as long as you have a good memory, you have melodiously know you chimalo. Short stories - funny, kind, comic - about your known and friends, give you smiles and lots of positive emotions. It is easy to see the situation very often.

Service in the army

It is not often possible, for example, tsіkavі іstorії From the life of people - smіshnі, short - about vіyskovyh. For example, taka. Discussion of the cholovik about the period of his service in the army. From the hour of the day at the checkpoint, a couple's friend went to the checkpoint. The woman became tsikavitisya, de not far from the tank part. Sin nibito serving there, for її words. Chergovy tried to explain to my friend that the tank unit is not here. At the end of the process, the steam was magalized to bring it soulfully, but the sin didn’t become bi їkh deceived. The rest of the argument of the woman is shown to Chergov's photograph. On these images the young "tankist" is standing proudly, hanging up to the waist with a cry in his hands in front of him. You can see, yak smіyavsya Chergovy soldier. Some of the stories from the life of people (small, short) in the middle of the world sound even more often.

Vip with documents

How can there be fun funny moments? By the way, it is not easy to feel the history of life, smith, short, tied with a robot with documents. The axis is one of them. Cholovikov needs to be updated for the notary's office in the RRB. The official of the bureau potsіkavilasya, as the term was needed for a document (the part issued in three days - sixty rubles, for two - a hundred and five). Cholovik zupinivya on a different option, so like an hour, so bi moviti, pidtiskav. Having paid in cash pennies, having made a statement: "Come on Monday." And buv tse four. Dyvchina explained that on Saturday that week the stench was closed. "And I paid yakbi for three days?" - powering the cholovik. Dіvchina explained that all one youmu had to come for a donation on Monday. "Why am I paying forty rubles more?" - posed by the cholovik. “Yak?” accusations.

For help

Offensive option. Short stories from real life, tied with a piece, not less popular, not even more. You can go to the beaches even more often. Yak cheerfully bulo, on the other hand, seeming to spite the next picture. On the birch of the sea, a friend of a couple with a little tit of eight rockies was seen. Panamas axis only take the seven zabula with you. The squad went to the room for headdresses, having overshadowed the child on the dad. Turning around, she didn’t shake the cholovik, but the axis of syn ... One head was erasing. To the food "De tato?" the boy replies: "Swim!" "Why are you here?" - energized the mother. Ditina zhittaradіnno declaring: "Daddy buried, I am not ruined!" Such a vchinok, zvychayno, seryoznim nazvati vazhko, prote cheerfully buto all!

Behind the cordon

Short stories from real life, but sometimes it’s continued, it’s overgrowing in it, it’s tightened. One of them is posted guid. A group of Russian tourists (hockey) violated the excursion on the chavny of the Girskiy riches. It is not often the case that people provoke water battles if they are willing. At the same time, nimtsi got into the supernicks of the Russian people. Moreover, the excursion was held on May 9 ...

You can have some bulo uyaviti, as hockey got started, knowing the stench to fight. With shouts "For Batkivshchyna!" і "For a change!" the stench fiercely splashed the oars on the water. Vtim, and tse їm smartly. Turning the road over the road, the stench rushed at the enemy directly on the chambers, spontaneously turning it over into the water.

Zdavalosya b, fun is over. Ale in the evening, a splash on the offensive fact: the offended groups settled in the same hotel. The hockey players were playing their "peremogu" directly to the pool, playing patriotic songs. They didn’t find any of their numbers.

On robots

It is even more common to see mixed histories from the life of people (short) on workmanship. For example, such a vipadok. One cholovik added his own book for Principles to the robot, and he was virishiv viprobuvati on his colleagues. Yogo spіvrobіtnіtsі wanted to "change" his daughter. Cholovik was late. On the coming day, I will rush to bring an envelope from a note. Having seen yo, the person immediately saw: “Your daughters are 14 years old. Vona learn to "vidminno". To love the top, the ride and the dance. " The Bula woman was simply envious and immediately started talking about everything to her friends. The cholovik did not meet the words about the zmist of the note: “I am a witness, I am 14 years old, I love horses and dance. And my mother makes you a deceiver. "

Vip with creatures

Smiley histories For short and not only, they often get knitted with our younger brothers. For example, such a tsikaviy vypadok became the head of the middle rock. Outside the courtyard of this private booth, an old dog came to see the tiredness. However, the creature of the bullet is indicated, on the shoulder there is a stripe. It’s obvious that it’s great to talk about a dog, but there are booths around it. The dog went to the cholovik, giving himself a stroke and followed by him at the front. We passed through it by and large, went to the code of the vital and fell asleep. About a year later, the dog went to the door. Cholovik letting the creature go.

On the coming day, at about the same hour, the dog knew the time before it, "got accustomed", lied in the same couture and slept again close to the year. Trivialized yogo "walk in a party" on the prototypes of decilkokh tizhnіv. Nareshty, cholovik virishiv potsіkavitisya, in which on the right, and pinning to the nashin a note of such a snake: "Vibachte, ale me, I want to know, hto є the Lord of this lovely wonderful creature, I know the dog in my day." On the coming day, the dog came with a mock “vidpoviddyu”. The note in the bulo reads: “The dog lives in a booth with little babies. Two of them, moreover, did not adhere to three rockies. Youmu wants to chat. Let me come with him tomorrow? "

juveniles

Buvagh, you want to bring the change of history to tears. short notice The life of young people is especially often seen among students, students, senior students. Well, this is not that kind of vipadok. Nichto is not an image or an enchantment. Two young lads did not get enough sleep, strolling along the streets of the place. Having zupinivshis bіlya kіosku s presoyu, as well as selling small stationery and іnshі dribnitsі, the stench smelled to buy a small m'yachik on humtsі, cheerfully lit, as if for her squeeze - just like that, it seems, for fun. The problem lay in one thing: the boys did not know how to call themselves tsya igrashka. One of the cottonmen, having said on the bag, turned to the saleswoman: "Give me that fenny!" "What a date?" - overwhelmed the woman. "Fenko!" - repeating the young cholovik. The goodies went with their purchase. On the coming day, the stinks passed through the whole kiosk. On the wine bag there is a price list with the writing "fenka".

Vipsticks with children

Smashnі short stories of people obov'yazkovo flicker laughing, as soon as Ide about the little ones. The axis of the vipadok, which stands as a three-ric boy. Great amicable homeland took at one table at once. Ditina sidiv and spokyly marveled at those, like her grandmother and mother, to grease mlintsi. For the whole hour, he quietly applied: “All is mine. I will be the first. Hto z'ist without me - I will punish! "The women, nareshti, finished the gotuvati and put the mlintsi on the container in a stack. The seed was dough and began to sit for the style. Mitya's hands will be left unchanged. Before the tsim win, ahead of all: “I am going. I’ll fuck all of them, I don’t live without me ”. Bilya tarilki sounded next: “One, two, five, twenty, thirty ... That's it! Do not chіpayte! "If the child turns around, one million buv z'їdeniy. Relatives energized: "Ty scho, really fucked up?" At the same time, the answer was: "Do not you mind? I can’t be rakhuvati! I’ve turned over the top baby!"

It’s funny, it’s funny. Age nichto s grown-ups didn’t want to turn the top mlynets over with the side down.

licensed history

Even more often comic problems are seen in the standards of medical institutions. As a rule, there are tsіkavі іstorії (smіshni, short) from gentle bums about young fathers - the most popular among them. On the other hand, the axis is taka. There is a squad in one cholov_ka narodzhuval. Checked friends for two. However, there are no vidomies for the future of children. The woman got a little girl and a boy. Schedule a person's check in the doctor's office on the door of the ward. Nareshti, the midwife has appeared. Father pidbig to her friends: "Dviynyata?" "So!" - updated the woman. Cholovik, laughing: "Little boys?" Vona: "Hi!" Dad, make a shorter laugh: "Daddy?" Midwife: "Hi!" Cholovik, dumbfounded: "And who?" Some of the most popular types of people are seen today.

On the road

Real life stories, short stories, often tied up with spirits of the DAI service. At one of the Novosibirsk motor depots, for example, there is such a vidadok. Pratsyuvav there is one inexpensive chauffeur. If there was a seed behind the KrAZ kerm, the call could not be seen. Once the chauffeur has gone on a flight, without locking the back number on the car. Win just poklav yogo in the glove compartment. As a rule, you can see in such cases and see, standing at the crossroads of the teacher DAI. Having shaken off the car without a chauffeur, I got back up and hung down. The driver knows about the situation. Having put the car in such a way, it can be hung in other doors that are not compatible, and the number can be closed. Rizikovano, ale tse Ediniy sposib uniknuti fine. Otzhe, the car zupinilas. The patrolman povіdіyshov, standing and not dying, looking in the middle. Zvychayno well, win buv duzhe zdivaniyam, marvel at the empty cabin. The chauffeur, having secured the number for an hour, and everyone turned to their place. Even better, the health worker DAI, if the commands of the rod were heard, the car started up empty and went away.

Just funny

And one more moment. It's a good idea to lie down even more, just because of the mood of the people. Mixed short stories may not be the mother of the so-called special plot. Buvah, people are just having fun and radiant souls. Yak, it seems like a smіshinka in her mouth has drunk. Explains tse, shvidshe for everything, Tim, that people today are stuck with growing stresses, other and not even worse. All the same, slyly, it is put in the middle of the skin, nervous system... Lyudin, of course, is never remembered. But in memory all the same, all the inappropriate moments are taken. Apparently, the body needs to work on the nerve distribution hour by hour. Aje smіh lіku. In such a rank, the health-improving process is manifested in a cheerful mood.

That doesn’t want to be surprised to see it. You can walk along the streets with absolutely blind thoughts in your head, marvel at those who are sick, and you will be happy. You can amuse you both by the way, by the way, and by revealing it. Start streaming your laughs and laughing, and see the audience's reactions to the audience yourself. Well, how about a rapt to eat something else, something like an incident ... For example, having pitted the wind in a keen in revealing an arch paper, or a package, for it’s just the same, the history will be given to you especially fun. First, it’s not bad, it’s not evil! It's just a fight against the stresses of our body! Smіkh sell our life!

Yakos Leonid Bikov appeared on the right in your homeland, the daughter was tortured with a mystery: the head of the family, having occupied an important place in the state authorities of Moscow, and with them, it was necessary to have a virgin as a meal to give maidanchiki for the baby. Now the squadron of the ruler was at the piano and began to gracefully demonstrate their success for the last month. Having repaired, by the guise of Bikov, tin flashed, the gentleman asked:

Do you like music?

So, - updated Bikov. - Ale nhay tse not zavazha your squad grati.

My cholovik stroilya in mosquitoes with hairspray. Megafics! Vibivaє ten three ten! Mosquitoes catch and fall on the spot. Cholovik їkh zbira, carefully placing on the tables, already typing on two armies. Well, you zrozumіli, in the war gra (top manager, 40 rockіv).

Once Ilya Selvinsky Bouv was present at once with the squad at the reception in the Kremlin. If Kollontai had gone away, before paying what would have been attached to the Order of Lenin, the squad whispered to Illy Lvovich: "I may want this brooch!"

On the right, there was a rocky outbreak about two hours ago, when a Chergovo raid of the "Caravan", "Transit" type was carried out, as if in a whole lot. I’m at the sleeping post DAI (transport inspectorate, mitnytsya, shtosh. Shorter. Right until the evening. Across the road I’m going to my wife two kizoks from herdsman.

Didyu, do you think you are thin and tortured?

On scho did I was told by the phrase, from which everyone got:

So ... Stink on the grass to graze, and not on the asphalt ...

Vulichna point, to break the kebabs. Two lads go, power up the price. For the stiykoyu - Caucasian: - One hundred rubles, dear!

Why is it so expensive? Dog, chee chi, with the Bula ancestor?

Hear! Now talk about the dog? He is from the Earth and to praise!

Boy to bach - to sit effectively like a crowd of people. power up:

And what about the stars?

With a Russian lamano, I am amicably suggesting:

Deterioration in a meat store in Odessa:

“New! Fresh meat! "

Є We have such a monstrous cholovichok on our robots Allochka is a blonde, behind the crazy head accountant. As soon as we go out with our chef to the virobnitstvo. And in front of the workshop there is a gate, which, before that, as if it’s necessary, you need to see it, in front of the front there is a car. The first axis is the chief to go, wherever the gate is opened (and Allochka is sitting in the car on the front side).

We have a moment to fix the car go back! Allochka has a stupor! Shock and panika! The chef got into the car on the go, embossed galmo and food:

Alla! Well, I couldn’t have sat on a galmo, why ?!

Round eyes:

And I have no galma!

On the basis of the robot, it is brought up in the middle of the world in the judge. So the axis, I think, and I judge it often, is not far from Vorovskogo street, it does not seem that they were too many of them, or they were passed without a second, for example: Moskovskiy district court (Kazan, 23 Vorovskogo st.); Arbitration Court of the Chelyabinsk Region (Chelyabinsk, vul. Vorovskogo, 2); Supreme Court of the SRSR (Moscow, Vorovskogo st. (Kukharskiy); Kievskiy district court (Simferopol, Vorovskogo str., 16); Chernigivskiy district court (Chernigiv, Vorovskiy st., 4) ...

Zhitlovy booth, downstairs booth - shop. The shop is wide, 5x50 meters. Meshkans' booths were thrown at the goats, condoms, packets, in a zaghalny, as we have, they fucked everything up.

Known Pribiralnitsya, voluntarily tidying up the whole srach. Ale potim mabut їy picked up the blues by the number of smiths and saw the genial number. On the trestle booth, so, you can see the booth only for the inhabitants, in great bil letters it was written: "BRUD IS NOT HERE, But in the souls."

Infected vihodish on the balcony - it is clean below ...

I come in the evening to the house, I walk through the child and I can smell it, as the elder (7 years old) read the young (3.5 years old) kazka about young kids. I stand at the door, I can't hear enough of my miracle children. The Kaztsi had such a moment - they didn’t let go of the booby voice and the kids didn’t let them in, only to the farrowing, that they overcame their voice into a thin one, fooling the gosenyou, they let the stench, let’s go.

At the tse of the young man, he will be fed - yak is talented - perekuvat voice. On the other hand, the senior vidpovidaє is not vіr, all the tricks for children, for the sake of justice Koval is mute, having reformed his voice, but simply kaaaak hitting him in the balls with a hammer, at Vovka suddenly the voice became thin-thin, so the kids turned the gozen!

The history of reports is one secret relative. Buv vin on viprobuvannyah yaky a particularly sophisticated rocket, yak to fly for the coordinates, will be introduced into the program by the operator. Oskіlki on the right passed to the polygon, then the rocket was guilty in the process of trying to remember the course, and then it got stuck into the ground. There was no charge in them. The young operator has reset the coordinates to zero, so that the point with coordinates latitude - dovhota - height (0,0,0) became the stop reference. Tim is an hour, a point with zero latitude and fullness є peretin of the Greenwich meridian and ekvatora. The first axis in the eyes of the derkomisia rocket hvatsko described an arc and drove right into the designated point ... The fire at her ended, for happiness, to finish quickly, and the oskolki "led", then we got up to the point of the fall on helicopters. There they found such a picture: NATO villagers took to the ground near the ulamkiv and fell into a rocket field and judged what would happen now. And when the warriors landed, they were told that the head of the collegiate was already ringing in the area, so that the collegium was given a missile attack ...

Having closed the season at the dachas. They packed and praised all the speeches in the booth, garages and sheds. At the barn, in order to make your way more quickly, speeches left in bulk. But my engineering thought didn't end there. I virishiv zmaistruvati pasta. And the simplest pasta - tse yaka? That's right, rake ...

I took two rakes right at the entrance and pishov into the booths for the keys from the barn.

Blow і wild cry і feel the house ...

Viyavilosya, brother of the pishov in the barn, take the steps of the instrument and teach one foot with one foot on one rake, and then with the other foot - on the other ...

Win with a rake, chasing after me for a day.

Odne glad - pratsyu pastaє! ..

Yaky razpovіv tsei vypadok lyudin swear that the truth is clear. After an hour of traveling to Moscow, I fell asleep for kerm and carefully put it in a ditch here in the Tver region. The ditch is glib, it’s unwise to sound spontaneously. Well, there’s nothing to do, driving on the road and catching a car, so I’m going to crush it with a cable.

Zupinyaєtsya hefty djipon, zvіdki vilazit hefty frat. With the efforts of fools, brothers, with a hundred-gram person, a mobile on the belt and with loose fingers:

Sha, kid! SchA must be like a boy! I'll be okay!

Z'yzhdzhak on his jipon in a ditch, gasses there seconds of chotiri, then quietly from the new vijzhzhak, vіdkriva wіkno and shout:

Well, what, zrozumiv yak treba? !! - and gas.

Є I have comrades, pratsyuє vodієm in guard, in services to the supervisor of high-ranking individuals. Shorter, ride the majestic, black-eyed pozashlyakhovik behind the car of the chief. Yogo answer. Hurry, yak yazychay, go to the car, I drove to the chief's car, to the pidlog to the corps left, cars on the bends go, pratsyu, shorter ...

Zalitaymo in yakis courtyard, і here the boss’s Mercedes zupinyaєtsya, because of kerma wiskaє like a don’t know man with a phone in his hands, shouting into the phone і in my direction wickedly wonder ...

Here I have seen!

I’m not on a robot, but driving a car to the garage. When I was on my doorstep, thinking about it for a while, I automatically got off the car, like the chef had, and followed her.

I declare that the man has had enough to leave and go across Moscow.

On a visit, we talked about TV viewers, they chased zgaduvati, who had yaki boules. Among the guests, a cholovik and a woman of approximately one vik, from the native towns, literally learned about a year:

Vona: "Our best TV-viewer, which I remember: black-bila" Berizka "".

Vin: “Oh, that we have a bully" Birizka "chorno-bila! I want to get out, melodiously, at the bagatokh bull. We didn’t have to navigate on the bedside tables, but on such special ones ”.

Vona: “Chornikh, right? At that time we had a box of my igrashkami on TV ”.

Vin: “I have a box of toys ...

Vaughn (perehlyakanim napivposhepki): "Chervoniy with a blue brute?"

Vin (in a whisper): "So ..."

Khvilin marvels one by one with such an axis of the eye, then won:

Eeee ... Maxim ... Do you, boo, do not have any birthmarks there, primitive warts? Just about all sorts of vipadoks?

Russia can’t survive: the audience of the Rakhunkov Chamber was set up, and the measure of St. Petersburg bought toilet yorzhiks at 12 thousand rubles apiece. The time has come to include the introduction of these toilets in the excursion programs in order to look around the Burshtin's room in the Katerininsky palace.

After an hour at the Medical Academy, I worked at the urological clinic as a nurse. In one of Cherguvan, it was close to the end of the day, until the end of ten years, having become a sleep-deprived person. Chergovy likar yakraz from vіddіlennya viyshov, and without it, I could not date, and tried to find an alternative. "Try to close your eyes and see the green meadow, where the sheep go: one sheep, another sheep, the third ..." - I said. "Those sheep are there, I have cataracts!" Then I sat down ...

The history told by my grandfather was trapped in 1944 when it was in Ukraine, it was in Rumunia (more did now and not at war). Distant from the individual. It’s a vivid situation: our line of defense, a nimble line of defense, and between them, like a whim, is a neutral smog. I axis One well for the whole district - the very same smoothie. From і brought the order of one fight with flasks and go popovz to the whole well. Once I was viping a tsya misia me. I take "triokhlіnіyki", a sprinkle of flasks, pozu. I arrive at the place and here it starts to flow, but there are no lancers or motorbikes with a bucket in the obviousness. You just need to go down yourself, just get some water. Z "triokhlіnіykoyu" as if not sruchnіshe. I am lurking її, stepping onto the cleft of the well. If I peter at the very bottom, collecting water, I will wait for a minute. I give my head and bach I am pleased with the peak in the nimetsky castsi on tli blue sky... Well, I think that's where me and khana came. Nimets by signs having punished him for reminding him. Now, faster for everything, just like the way! Ale is dumb!

Nimets simpleton his empty flasks і know! I shift my spirit, collect flasks and vibrate upward. Yak viyavilosya, the needy crawled away to see my gvint! A dozen hour later, the news came to go to that well. Having hooked up and a tank of a well, a Nimetsky "shmayser". The situation was repeated from the exact point to the navpaki - I took some useful flasks and gave them my empty ones. Ale "shmayser" from the grave filed with him.

I don’t know how everyone is there, but ordinary soldiers didn’t want to drive all of them, especially without a special consumer.

On the right, go to the vetlikarn. Come in with pekiness. Hoodie to zhahu, the wool rolls up.

We have a bi doggie pispati.

Is that so?

Well ... Inakshe niyak, turn around. We have been tormented for a long time. Just come on soon, as soon as possible.

Well, yak say.

I give a note-for-pleasure, write quickly. Ready syringe, go to the dog. I know the cowboy from the head.

Doctor, do you want to sleep?

In the sense ???

Mi yogo p_dstrgty awake? Otherwise, it’s not like that.

I, like і older brother, in the last - start gravets in computers іgri. Only I am a lover of strategy, but I am a lover of wine. We went with him to ride on rollers. Win shvidko go ahead and seemingly, turning around to me. Raptom bacu - go straight into the pit. Gleebock douche. My, that is a childish brain, without inventing anything short, shout "Proeeeee!" You know, win re-tricking.

At the window of our store there is a cyanosis of a chicken with a label: "CHICKEN USED". On my power supply, which means, the saleswoman looked and said:

Tse are not the ones who thought. Used - tse means "WITHOUT PACKAGING"!

I ring my classmates, as I live in Moscow. I feed:

Is the yak right?

Vaughn me to shout into the phone, get caught up in the seizure:

We have a very good novelty! You know how important it is at Sin's!

І prodovu in view on the monotonous, sensations of the movement:

So, it’s awesome, it’s necessary to be happy, but now it’s not going to go to the army!

Having gone to the dentist's polyclinic with blue (the milk tooth does not vipadayut, but the root growth from the side). Demand smikati, I don’t show you ale, I’m afraid myself. Children go in - roar, go out - roar. Viklikayut, Alosha is already great (11 rock_v), where one, doors start, metushnya. Enter a young license and declare:

Is there a tato at Aloshi's?

I think - trimati treba is not given. I think I’m ... Doctor with the help of my eyes:

So the new one has 2 teeth of smikati treba !!!

Demand, so demand - smack.

Through the chill of Alosha, the radiant and smithered go. I seem to:

What was the trapil?

And it’s good for me to say this:

And I didn’t get the INJECTION !!! Powered, I said NO DEMAND. And the teeth went astray - it’s not so scary!

Rozpov Batko, it became an hour of that, if he finished MSU and it was obvious to the department having spent time on zbora. Otzhe - rankove shikuvannya. Frost - 25. Mova trimak capitan N.

Barbarians. Dike congregation p'yanits. Why didn’t I tell you that there’s a light, but a poor drink? First and foremost, change your mind at once. All of you go to the frost to work out the CIS, and the lieutenant of Ignatov goes in the warmth and the light of the cabinet ... Virishuvati is my master of mathematics.

In the end of the 80s, a gasoline crisis erupted in Georgia. Well, in front of one of the top-of-the-line buildings in Gali, the new Volga died out. Driving from the car and asking the residents of the courtyard to give them a couple of liters of gasoline to go home. Naturally, everyone said that it’s tighter with gasoline and it’s no longer possible to drive your cars through the streets of the wonderful family. Todi drove by asking them not just 4 buckets of idle drive. The hostile baggage booth, zatkavleni tim, kudi vin dina water, immediately delivered її. A man with clever accusations poured all the water into the tank of the car, having thrown 4 tablets into the tank without sound, turning the ignition key and the Volga started up. Ochmanil people began to ask yogo - sell, moving, a few pieces. She drove him to see it, but after a while she sold 100 tablets, 10 rubles per skin. After giving pills, taking pennies and poychav. Everyone rushed to the cars, poured water, left the pills and did not start. Through the tenth of the millennium z'yasuval, he sold Walter Dzhedzhea's tablets of buv vidomiy shahram, at which, plus all the way, Volga worked on gas.

I know I got it. Over the last few hours, I went to the daddy along the Georgian-Georgian road and in one of the Silskoy shops I created the following picture: there are three casseroles of a small caliber and there are cynics in front of them. On the most is written "Kastrulya", in the middle "Kastrulya", and in the small "KASTRULKA".

I will describe the coat of arms of the Moscow municipal district "Gagarinsky": "...

Vipadkovo throwing a cup of tea on a working document and powerful mobile. Dokumenti into the distance chastkovo vryatuvati, ale mobile died. As a result, even in the evening, I had an old phone number of the squad, having picked it up, I otrimav the deyake with satisfaction. Even if the squad is engaged in a "bohemian" business, if you show the phone book to your partners, you can write yourself - 80% of telephones in them can be easily repaired - Masha model 3 size, irina 185 cm 4 size (vertical) - in zagalny, select call ...

On my power supply about the term of condom adherence, the Caucasian seller of the pharmacy kiosk gave a clear laconic and, in my opinion, the correct statement: - Adin time.

In my office, except for the programmer, I have a designer - African American Sem. New krіsla arrived not long ago. Chorne i bile. Dovgo checked on the deputy and the secretary came to look at them. Come and eat from the doorway: “Oh! Whose tse chorny? "The programmer puts his hand on Sema's shoulder, to rob him seriously, denouncing and with contempt in his eyes, to say:" Vin is vilna lyudina. "

Divchina pochervonila, and Sem didvgo smіyavsya ...

The history of reference and became won by me. I was standing like (for a long time) under the archway at the Smolenska metro station, smoking. To the people of no one, the mood is lousy, summarily, samotnyo. I stand and think: "I am standing here, so beautiful, in this wilderness, but I don’t take my autographs" (that is, I just wanted to be seen as an artist). Rapidly go to my uncle and food: "Dyvchina, do you register in your place?" I didn’t press my cigarette.

Office of travel agencies. Chergovy dzvinok from a superstitiously persistent client, as she herself does not know where she wants to, and if she wants to torment the manager of hilin 45. I feel like the operator:

I will send you wherever you want in be-yak misce.

Tsikavi short mixed histories from the life of people are the same as those who are expected to drink from the readers. Be-like a lyudin to love, laugh at him, who was seen in the life of the person. Anecdotes can change the mood at any hour. Seemingly, those who have been taken from life, there will be more fun than one rik. And smіh, yak vіdomo, I will sell life!

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